Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need to calm my uterus...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize