my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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