i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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