I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
