Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
