The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
