You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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