You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
