a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
