I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
