Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
