butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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