Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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