I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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