So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
