Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize