Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
