I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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