Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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