Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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