I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
