I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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