Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
