my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
