Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
