I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
