How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
