So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
