the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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