I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
