absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
