Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
