If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
