I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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