i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
