Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
