nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
that is very illegal...i love you.
He has the fingertips of a God
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