I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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