He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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