Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
