Do vagina's smell?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
