You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
