i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize