Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
