Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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