I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
