We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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