"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
smell my finger.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
