the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I will pee on everything he values.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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