Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
