Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
