whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The Olympian is in my bed
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
