My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
