a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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