a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
True college students do jello shots in the library
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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