so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
