You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
