I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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