Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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