so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
