So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
