Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
