In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize