All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize