"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
