they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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