well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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